


scraping demolished bridges

by jihwannaone (hongpikachu)



Category: JBJ (Band), MXM (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Breakup, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, hufflepuff donghyun, implied howons, slytherin donghan, some youngdong if you squint, the 2dong nobody asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 21:23:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongpikachu/pseuds/jihwannaone
Summary: donghyun and donghan learn two important things: never return to a home that is broken, and never return to the home you broke





	scraping demolished bridges

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the interview where Donghyun mentioned that he and Donghyun run into each other a lot during their promotions

“Say something.”

 

The top of Donghyun’s shoe has now been covered with small bundles of snow from the ground, accumulated by the back and forth motion of his foot while his mitten-clad hands were firmly placed on his lap (even if there were handles on the bench they were seated on, the last thing he wanted was to feel more of the cold).

 

Beside him sat Donghan, lips pursed and eyes focused on the pile of snow surrounding his feet, part of his thoughts wandering off to how he should have worn two layers of socks as the former advised him, but he was stubborn enough to say he was gonna be fine. The other portion of his mind wandering off to how he should structure his words.

 

Lips part while he braces himself for the worst, but each and every attempt leaves him with a sigh. He ignores the glance Donghyun gives him and continues to focus on the snow, which leaves him looking like he had murderous intent for an unseen figure standing a few miles away.

 

“I think it’s gonna be tough for us.”

 

An oxymoron the entire situation was to Donghyun, as he was surprised for his lack of surprise at the statement. Both of them didn’t know how or when it started. Maybe it was Donghyun being appointed as head boy, or Donghan the quidditch captain, or the mere fact that they have been sorted in two different houses (because the choice bullshit the Sorting Hat spoke of was as it is: bullshit).

 

Silence ensued after a while, cold as the winter breeze (cliché but appropriate, as they thought so), save for the chattering of a few witches and wizards whose first experience with butterbeer was as great as the upperclassmen said to be. Donghyun makes the first move, reaching to enclose his mitten-ed palm around the other’s balled up fists.

 

“We’ll still be friends, won’t we?”

 

Donghan curses the air because heavens be damned he could never, and he never will be able to resist the way Donghyun looks at him with his naturally doe-like eyes full of the innocence and hope of a child who waits for Santa (or Merlin or whoever non-muggles look forward to during Christmas) to bring him his gift of a single Chocolate Frog trading card of Albus Dumbledore. And so, holding back his tongue and using every ounce of strength to at least unknot his tense shoulders, Donghan smiles and nods.

 

Just like that, they have ended a relationship and yet they still were able to hold each other’s hands (“to exchange body heat, it’s really cold.” Donghan lies but the other just gives him a knowing smile) as they head back to Hogwarts.

 

 

\--

 

 

 

“Don’t get sick. You always do when it’s winter.”

 

They stood in front of the entrance of the Hufflepuff common room, Donghyun looking at the other as his black and yellow scarf gets fixed. The pout that his lover, no, former lover gives always sent somersaults to his heart as much as it had him cringing. “I won’t.” Donghyun assured with a smile, lightly rocking back and forth just to stop himself from lunging forward and giving the other one last snog before the holidays.

 

The sight of Donghan’s back becomes smaller and smaller until it disappears once he makes a turn to the right, rushing before the staircase would change. Once Donghan was gone, he stares at the barrels for a while, trying to have everything sink in because they really just broke up and acted like nothing happened.

 

Nausea slowly took over his system, so he taps on the barrels and waits for the sign of entry before rushing to his bed. Maybe it was the hunger so he takes out a pack of those muggle snacks Donghan bought for him over the summer and slowly eats, or maybe it was the disappointment at everything: the lack of fight to keep the relationship alive during the breakup, the fact that the universe threw signs at their faces that they should just break up, and slash or how Donghan didn’t bother to take a last glance before heading off.

 

In the end he laughs at himself, because he was silly to think that their friendship at the very least would change. How they broke up was civil, no fighting, no bitterness, no third party, no cheating, just life throwing tomatoes at them that were too rotten to handle. His tears joined the biscuit crumbs that settled on his lap, because it’s finally sinking in that they are breaking up and that they have always been meant to break up.

 

 

\--

 

 

“Merlin’s beard- Donghan slow down or you’re gonna get choked by some shepherd’s pie and that isn’t the most attractive way to go down the drain. Have some pride for yourself, man.” Jaehwan groans and watches in awe the way the shepherd’s pie gets reduced to a quarter, then a half, then to none before getting refilled again in a matter of minutes, all the while shoving a goblet in front of Donghan’s plate.

 

“Look, are you really gonna let some scumbag become the next quidditch captain when you die? You’re stronger than this.” As much as Jaehwan wanted to look stern, the tone of his voice wavers and gives him away when he sees the last of Donghan’s food gobbled down. “Okay maybe you are much stronger because only a three-headed dog could eat that much.” The older said in defeat.

 

“Hyung, do you think exes could be friends?”

 

“Well yeah, it depends. Unless if one cheated on the o—Did you cheat on Donghyun?!”

 

Thanks to Donghan’s long limbs he manages to trap the older in a headlock and cover his loud mouth at the same time, knuckle pressing onto the other’s skull as Donghan grits his teeth.

 

“Oh hyung, your mouth is still as big as ever. I always wonder how many of your boyfriend’s heads would fit in there.”

 

“I’ll tell him to grow a second dick, then we’ll see if two heads could fit.”

 

This time Jaehwan gets a jab at his sides, resulting to bite onto the other’s hand in his defense. Donghan lets go with a yelp then grimaces at the other in disgust, reaching for the napkins to wipe the bit of drool on his hand.

 

“I wonder how Sewoon puts up with you,” was the only thing he managed to say before throwing his used napkin at Jaehwan’s smug face.

 

“Anyway, Donghyun’s a nice kid. If you two broke up for whatever reason I’m not gonna spite you for it, just don’t be too hard on yourself. I know how much you still love that kid.”

 

The palm that taps his back felt more of heavy than reassuring, but he knows Jaehwan means well. The tip of his fork picking on the surface of the peas laid out on his table while he stares off into nothing, trying to think of anything to fill his empty thoughts. But before he could give the older his thanks, the spot where the figure was has been vacated quickly.

 

 

\--

 

 

“Donghyun!”

 

A tall figure clad in a dark robe with yellow accents greet him as he spins around, not missing the gleaming head boy badge pinned on the other’s right chest. Immediately he runs towards the source of the voice, grin not leaving off his face.

 

“Youngmin hyung! I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I’m here to return the potions notes you lent me over the holidays.” Rolls of parchment were handed over to Youngmin, although slightly creased at the sides but he still paid no mind. A sad smile was on his face as he places a small box on the younger’s recently emptied hands.

 

Exasperation and surprise fills Donghyun’s face as he looks at the box, then at Youngmin, and back at the box again. “What is this? I’m the one that’s supposed to give you a graduation present—“

 

“It’s not much but I hope you’ll like it. I know things have been tough for you ever since the holiday break and just… I’m gonna miss you.”

 

It was typical of Youngmin to trip on his words and yet Donghyun still felt touched that he never did make an effort to resist the urge to lunge forward and tackle the seventh year in a hug. On the corner, just up ahead, he spots a group of Slytherins making their way to Herbology class, green scarves packed together to look like murky lagoon waters with the way the cloth curls. And his fingers curl as well on the older Hufflepuff’s robes, trying to tear his gaze away from the tallest of the bunch.

 

His efforts to avoid eye contact were futile when his gaze meets brown orbs. And although he was kind, he still had some pride, not wanting to feel like he was the one at a disadvantage. He musters a smile at the figure, accompanied by a little wave using up whatever little strength he has. His smile left just as quickly as it formed.

 

And the first time he crossed paths with Kim Donghan, the pride he tried so hard to protect was trampled on.

 

 

\--

 

 

“I bet you a hundred galleons you’d cry during the graduation ceremony.”

 

“I’m betting five hundred that I won’t. You better hold on to your bank account, Hyunbinnie.”

 

Whoever thought it was a good idea to line up the Slytherins next to the Ravenclaws during the graduation ceremony have probably not seen how competitive the two of these boys would be. But knowing Hyunbin since he was in diapers, Donghan knows that he doesn’t care less about winning or losing, so long as he could see a bit of Donghan’s pride getting tarnished.

 

Stars shone down beautifully on the forest as the last bits of orange from the sun start to dissipate below the horizon. And Donghan curses the heavens as to why the Slytherins have to be sandwiched between the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, because beside him stands Donghyun whose eyes were brimming with tears that have yet to fall, sniffling once in a while along with a few more Hufflepuffs (the fainter-sounding ones coming from the Gryffindors).

 

One by one, the seventh years boarded onto the carriage, and the sight of the thestrals makes Donghyun shiver (though he really blames it on the fresh dusk breeze). It frustrates him to a degree how the Hufflepuff doesn’t notice that they’re practically standing beside each other, or that he wasn’t fazed at all if he wasn’t aware.

 

Breakups are supposed to affect people, because it’s affecting Donghan by giving him sleepless nights (and he had to deal with “you look like shit” comments everyday but that was the least of his problems).  But regardless if they’re dating or if they have dated, he still cares for Donghyun tremendously enough to throw his pride aside and hand over his handkerchief, not missing the sight of the yellow and black woven bracelet fitting on his wrist that makes his stomach churn.

 

He makes an excuse of an upset stomach and heads off to the dormitories, patting Hyunbin along the way. For the first time in a long time, Donghan manages to fall asleep before the peak of dawn.

 

The second time they ran into each other, Donghyun’s tear-blurred vision couldn’t catch who gave him the handkerchief in the midst of his crying, but he remembers the scent of muggle detergent (which isn’t that different from wizard fabric detergent but he still could tell) and promises to look for Donghan on the train back home the next day.

 

 

Donghyun reaches Seoul with the handkerchief still in his jeans pocket.

 

 

\---

 

Donghyun performs the graduation ceremony three years later.

 

Being the one to step in the carriages after a hearty final feast was more emotional compared to when he was one of the underclassmen watching from further back.

 

But he didn’t bother looking back, maybe wave at a few underclassmen from the Hufflepuff house, flicking out a small patronus for Yehyun who was trying to hold his tears back (and he laughs at the memory of him crying as much when Youngmin graduated) before focusing his gaze on the students boarding the carriages one by one.

 

With a heavy sigh, he holds onto the handkerchief that was left to him and now faintly smells of the muggle detergent.

 

 

Try as he may to convince himself, it was all reality giving him the signs that Donghan never came back.

 

 

\--

 

Donghan doesn’t expect to be sharing a café table with his ex-boyfriend on a chilly October afternoon.

Youth was still found in Donghyun’s eyes and he didn’t look like he aged within the past five years when they last ran into each other. The coffee cup was warm like a blanket over his palms, but the atmosphere was just as chilly as Hogsmeade from five years ago.

 

“You left this.”

 

Donghyun has always been the brave one to speak first, he thinks as he stares at the dark green handkerchief he gave from before. The black and yellow bracelet was still hard to miss on Donghyun’s wrist, and he clenches his teeth at the thought of it.

 

He only realizes the implication of the statement after a couple of seconds. With that handkerchief came the unanswered questions, the sudden disappearance, the feelings they left hanging in the air.

 

“I’m sor— “

 

“I already forgave you.”

 

This time, Donghan had to place his hands on his lap, afraid that the tension would cause him to squeeze the coffee cup he was holding just a while ago. His gaze was focused on the window, watching droplets of rain that never seemed to cease pooling on the window sill.

 

“You dropped out.”

 

It was more of a question than a statement, and he can only nod without averting his gaze, not wanting to make eye contact with Donghyun because heaven knows how his resolve easily breaks when he looks into those innocent and honest hazel eyes.

 

“It was difficult, living a life like that.”

He doesn’t miss the way Donghyun stiffens at the statement, and maybe how his words sounded like it had venom. Every second of this conversation hurt him as much, or maybe much more it did Donghyun, and he doesn’t know if he should apologize because at this point no apology could ever fix the heart he hurt.

 

“Are we not friends anymore?”

 

_Friends._

 

Donghan detested that word so much, and yet he only had himself to blame, making a promise that couldn’t manage to keep until the end because heavens be damned his heart controls him more than he wanted it to.

 

“If I still want to hug you, does that make me a friend?”

 

This time, Donghyun was speechless. He wanted to say that yes, friends do hug all the time and that it was normal, but he isn’t that naïve to not read between the lines.

 

“If I still want to protect you, take you out to dates, kiss you every chance I get, does that still make me a friend, Kim Donghyun?”

 

Warmth spreads on his cheeks as it felt like rain droplets fell on him and on his end of the coffee table. His palms clenched into his jeans, fingers shaking as he tries to control all these emotions at bay, releasing them slowly.

 

“I loved you, I really did. But three years of waiting for nothing… I’m not stupid, Donghan. I’m sorry.”

 

This time it was Donghyun’s turn to apologize as he stands up and takes his cup of coffee on one hand, the other balled up in the hip pocket of his coat.

 

Maybe this was the closure they have been looking for, Donghan thinks as he hears the bell tinkle and the sound of Donghyun’s footsteps fading into the background. Inside the coffee shop was warm, but his heart was as cold as Hogsmeade from five years ago.

 

 

\--

 

Diagon Alley was just as bustling as when Donghyun first set foot on it years ago, and he remembers his small self dragging his cart along and gathering all the necessities for his first day of school. This time the bookstore was packed with students and he slightly frowns at the thought of going at a wrong time to buy his latest reference textbook.

 

“Hello, professor! What brings you here today?” One of the students approaches him and he manages to give them a heartfelt smile (though he doesn’t notice how the students practically just swooned in front of him).

 

Just right outside the window, he spots a tall figure passing by. Once the figure takes a glance inside the packed store, Donghyun immediately averts his gaze.

 

He pretends he doesn’t notice Donghan.

**Author's Note:**

> and i am back on my bS with such rarepair is this the first one on the tag? i seriously wanna know but hi hello i did mention to have more hogwarts AU fics so here it is! please don't hesitate to leave a kudos or comment (if you feel like screaming at my face for the angst) and if you wanna scream about this with me through twitter, you can find me @jihwannaone ^^ thank you for reading up until here!


End file.
